Our Brains on Drugs

It rained most of the weekend so I did not get much done around the yard. My Son and I spent most of our time watching Star Wars. I am turning him into a geek like me. Yes!

The rain prevented me from having a cycling accident for the third weekend in a row. Thanks to Floyd Landis cycling was still on my mind. Not just cycling however, with the help of 100m world record holder Justin Gatlin I took my quiet time to ponder the effects of testosterone on the human brain. More importantly I began to wonder what this could mean to my perception of male intelligence.

First a little background. Last week Floyd Landis tested positive for high levels of testosterone after winning the Tour De France. A couple of days later it was revealed that sprinter Justin Gatlin received a positive result after one of his tests. Both of these athletes showed that although testosterone helps yours performance athletically, it may severely decreases your mental performance. Could women be right? Are men stupid? Do our brains begin to shut down as increase our testosterone level? Floyd and Justin provide us with some very disturbing evidence.

After Landis tested positive he came up with many reasons why. Jack Daniels and Cortisone were on the top of his list. Both pretty weak reasons. After he had some time to think he came up with “naturally high testosterone levels.” High levels that had not been detected previously. A high level that has only occurred during stage 17 of the Tour De France when he destroyed the competition. Good thinking Floyd. I needed more evidence as this was only one example and I have suspicions that recreational drugs may be a factor here.

Justin Gatlin stepped up to the plate. It seems that Justin’s massage therapist is part of a conspiracy to ruin his career. The crafty therapist rubbed testosterone cream on Gatlin just before he tested positive. I hope he releases the name of this therapist soon because I am pretty sure he owns the dog that ate my math homework when I was in grade 8.

The evidence was mounting and I didn’t like what I was seeing. I needed to think of someone smart. There is myself. Clearly I am a genius and I ooze testosterone, but I am a freak of nature. Stephen Hawking. Low testosterone. The smart gut from my grade 12 Physics class. No testosterone. Yikes! This is leading me down a path that I don’t want to take. Do women really have the edge on us in the smarts department?

This forces me to ask the question: Who is dumber, testosterone filled men or the women who let us rule the world?