There are Steriods in My Whiskey
Surprise, surprise. Floyd Landis got caught cheating. Before you get your underwear tied up in knots, yes I know that the B-Sample is yet to be tested. Do you seriously think that it will yield a different result?
Looking back at the race and when he got caught it really is no surprise at all. One day after looking like he had nothing left Landis amazingly blew the field away and had the race of his life. We had to endure Al Trautwig and Bob Roll verbally felaciating him and hear how it was the greatest ride in the history of the Tour De France, ever. It seems now that a big shot of testosterone had a helping hand in it. I would love to hear Al and Bob’s take on it now. Maybe it is French conspiracy against the Americans.
I always get a kick when reporters look for comments from the parents of the perpetrators of such grievous crimes against humanity. What do you really expect them to say? “Yes, Floyd was always a cheater. He used to elbow his classmates when playing musical chairs in kindergarten.” Note to reporters: Parents will almost always stand up for their kids. Even if said child has all the credibility of a teenager claiming that the condoms in his drawer are not his.
I am guessing that this positive test will come with the standard two year ban but I am hoping he gets an extra year just for being stupid. After Basso and Ulrich were banned for the suspicion of using performance enhancers did Landis think that tour officials would stop watching? Maybe they should test his sample for recreational drugs also.
Of course Landis has provided us with a perfectly reasonable explanation. Jack Daniels. He drank some the night before his “epic ride.” We all know that Jake Daniels is a major source of testosterone. It is a small wonder that it has not been banned by all major athletic federations. If that is the best that Floyd can come up with then he is in trouble.
Lost in the circus is the fact that Oscar Pereiro stands to inherit Yellow Jersey. He is not all that excited about it. I can’t say as I blame him. It would be kind of like getting table scraps now.
Looking back at the race and when he got caught it really is no surprise at all. One day after looking like he had nothing left Landis amazingly blew the field away and had the race of his life. We had to endure Al Trautwig and Bob Roll verbally felaciating him and hear how it was the greatest ride in the history of the Tour De France, ever. It seems now that a big shot of testosterone had a helping hand in it. I would love to hear Al and Bob’s take on it now. Maybe it is French conspiracy against the Americans.
I always get a kick when reporters look for comments from the parents of the perpetrators of such grievous crimes against humanity. What do you really expect them to say? “Yes, Floyd was always a cheater. He used to elbow his classmates when playing musical chairs in kindergarten.” Note to reporters: Parents will almost always stand up for their kids. Even if said child has all the credibility of a teenager claiming that the condoms in his drawer are not his.
I am guessing that this positive test will come with the standard two year ban but I am hoping he gets an extra year just for being stupid. After Basso and Ulrich were banned for the suspicion of using performance enhancers did Landis think that tour officials would stop watching? Maybe they should test his sample for recreational drugs also.
Of course Landis has provided us with a perfectly reasonable explanation. Jack Daniels. He drank some the night before his “epic ride.” We all know that Jake Daniels is a major source of testosterone. It is a small wonder that it has not been banned by all major athletic federations. If that is the best that Floyd can come up with then he is in trouble.
Lost in the circus is the fact that Oscar Pereiro stands to inherit Yellow Jersey. He is not all that excited about it. I can’t say as I blame him. It would be kind of like getting table scraps now.
posted by The Silver Fox at 10:11
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