Enigma, Your Name is X Chromosome

It can’t be a coincidence. My friend and I both came to work today with stories about how our wives both became angry at us for NO FREAKING GOOD REASON! Is there something in the air? Something in the stars? Are all women linked to some kind of temporal irrationality cycle?

My friend got shat upon because he told his wife’s sister that he liked her new hairstyle. Apparently he is being too sincere with other people and not sincere enough with his wife. My buddy foolishly tried to explain himself calmly and logically. Naturally this only enraged her further. It was not long before he was being blamed for a wide variety of problems including the current situation in the Middle East. She has told him to go out by himself tonight. Clearly he should go home, take his lumps and try and smooth things over. I have advised him to draw a line in the sand. He needs to get together with the boys and go get gassed.

My Wife was writing a letter to her friend who is moving out of town soon. She asked me to read it. I told her it was good. She looked at me seemingly wanting more. I offered that I thought she was a good writer and that her friend would like it. Not good enough. She stopped talking to me. When pressed as to what was wrong I got the classic female response “nothing.” Now was a perfect opportunity to live by my new axiom: “If you tell me that nothing is wrong I am going to act like nothing is wrong. Even if I know it is not true.” I will be joining my friends for beers also.

So what is going on here women? Is this all a game you play with us to keep us from solving your mysteries? Or is it just simply you all suffer from a collective, organized insanity? Enlighten me, please.